Something's Not Right, Here

So I had an afternoon snack.

Pretzels should be pretty hard to get wrong. I mean, they're a pretty simple snack food.

These taste... a bit off. They taste fine at first, and if you eat them very quickly, you don't notice anything wrong at all. But if you're trying to eat them while reading something, or are otherwise distracted and not chewing quickly and swallowing, you will begin to realize that something is horribly awry.

ISOLATED SOY PROTEIN should never be the first ingredient in anything but a fucking protein shake. I mean, I would understand if maybe it were the third or fourth ingredient, oh wait SOY FLOUR is the fourth ingredient. God damnit, I hate soy. Ah well, I'll take what I can get. The weird thing is that I really like the Soy Chips.

I suppose the distinguishing factor is that the soy chips taste good as far as soy products go, and they're not pretending to be something they aren't. They're not cramming soy sideways into a product that no monk ever desired soy in. The thing that completely blindsides you with the pretzels is the trickery: you're expecting pretzel taste, instead it's like chewing on protein shake mixture. WHEAT GLUTEN PROTEIN ISOLATE? MMMMN, that shit gets me hard! Let's go lift, brah!

Christ, I'm beginning to think this is just a trick to make sure I'm drinking enough water, I had to chug 2 20oz glasses to choke these down. Ah, well, at least I've only got about a week's worth of these I'll need to suffer through.