Food Delivery

Today, I got food delivery from Nutrisystem.

It comes in a large box.

What is in this box, this box that rocks?

A monthly diet book, an inventory of what's in the box, and a welcome letter to my program.

The book primarily contains a series of daily pages, with check boxes for each item I can eat at each meal, along with this Grocery Guide in the back, which lists out what carbohydrates, vegetables, proteins etc. are.

It also contains this handy Dining Out Guide. That has both general eating out advice and ethnicity/genre-specific restaurants. When eating Chinese, avoid fried foods, buy steamed dishes, when eating British food, avoid it and just kill yourself, and so on and so forth.

They always pack their boxes with three trays, because that's about what you need to fit 4 weeks of food. In this picture, I've already removed most of the bubble packs they use to fill space. Of course, since I'm on the Select plan, I only get 2 weeks of non-refrigerated food, so I can condense them down to two or fewer boxes.

As you can see here, I've condensed the food down to two trays, and added a hammer and DeWalt drill to help with my various colon problems associated with the diet and having consumed exactly 12 gummi bears made with lycasin (jesus god, I think I'm just crapping pure stomach juices.

I got a few special entrees that are new to Nutrisystem that I'll be trying in the near future, but I mostly got standbys that I know I like. Granola, Cinnamon Squares cereal, and Blueberry Muffins for breakfast. Sausage Beans and Rice, Cheesy Mashed Potatoes, Turkey Hot Dogs and Pasta (2 separate dishes, thank god) for lunch. Lasagna, Rotini with Meatballs, and BBQ Beef for dinner. A ton of BBQ and Sour Cream and Onion Soy chips, and some Peanut Butter Cookies and Peppermint things for snacks and desserts.

I still have a bunch of other food I need to go through, but I'll start interspersing the couple of dishes I didn't mention here that I haven't tried before while I work through my current food. Also, I should be getting a frozen food delivery from Schwan in the next 14 days.

Additionally, I received an order from Amazon today, that contained a few sugar-free candies. I ordered some gummi bears, Twizzlers, Life Savers, and some brand of Lollipops made with Splenda. Now, I ordered these things because I can't chew gum anymore, for one reason or another, and sugar-free hard candy is one of the things I can occupy my oral fixation with since I quit smoking and still don't understand why it's a problem when politicians go to lesbian sex clubs. (there's a dick sucking joke in there, see if you can find it)

At any rate, as mentioned, I think I should probably toss the gummi bears, for the sake of my rectum. I didn't realize how high the calorie count was for Twizzlers (130 calories for fucking 6 sugar-free Twizzlers is not fucking worth it, I'd rather eat my soy chips), so I'll foist them off on someone else. The lollipops are pretty good, so they're staying, and Lifesavers are hard to go wrong with, even sugar-free.