Temptation and The Meaning of Life

So I was having a pretty massive hankering for various things that were bad for me today. I hadn't watched any TV, so it wasn't the usual source (advertising). It was just the hunger.

What I would do with this is closer to cunnilingus than eating, right now.

Fortunately, I'm well outside of the range of Lou Malnati's right now, and I exercised discipline with regard to my more local pizza options. I hunkered down, worked on paperwork, and, while watching one of my favorite Monty Python movies via Netflix on Xbox, found my new diet reinforcement device.



Reference 53 seconds in and on. Fortunately, after watching this, I no longer had any desire to eat. The contagious effects of vomiting are well known to everyone, and I'm quite certain the only thing that saved me was the lack of smell.

This has given me an idea for a new product to sell to people on a diet.

You know what, you should fucking thank me. I was going to put a picture of a bucket full of vomit here, but after the google image search I just endured, I don't have the heart to do that to you.

People have long used perfumed handkerchiefs to mask an unpleasant odor. What I propose is a vomit scented handkerchief or scent box for people on a diet. Craving a cheese steak? NO PROBLEM! Just take a whiff of this deliciousness to put that craving to bed!

What? You think I'm gonna pirate and learn to use photoshop just for this? And you open source asshats can eat my salad, because I'm not reinstalling GIMP today.

I would buy this product.