Failure, Mitigated By Gluttony

So I took my kettle back in to work today, so that I could prepare my lunch.

Which was a cup of Nutrisystem Cheesy Homestyle Potatoes.  I also had some celery, and a juice box for a morning snack (I feel like I'm 5 every time I type that).

Hit the Whole Foods after work today, which is a terribly dangerous place for a man on a diet.  I was mostly good, bought vegetables and milk, my main staples, but...

I picked up some Salmon Corn Chowder and Baked Kettle Chips with Salt and Vinegar for dinner.  Really, either one of these things would be a day-killer.  The chips alone are 480 calories for the bag.  That's one good thing about whole foods: even when you go off the wagon, you can mitigate it (a 'family size' bag of chips from a regular supermarket is easily 2000 calories, depending on the branding).

Unfortunately, if you're watching tv and you are drinking soup from the side of a cup, and you get surprised, maybe you over-mitigate it.  I was looking away from the computer, and I had last night's House on.  While chugging the last of my chowder, it went to a rather loud commercial without warning, and I took an over-large swallow.  I immediately gave up my entire delicious dinner to the, mercifully large, trashcan I keep at my desk.

After awhile, my stomach settled, and I made a discovery worthy of the nations most fervent politicos:  oranges are a fucking stupid food to eat after you've made your throat raw vomiting.  I'm now considering a glass of milk (there's about 8-12oz left in last week's half gallon) and a piece of raisin bread or something.  I also still need to slice up my vegetables purchased today and take care of my dishes.  I'ma go do that and pray my stomach stays in its place for awhile, that orange really isn't sitting right.



Party on, Fatheads.

Saturday Morning Should Be For Cartoons

But kids today have terrible cartoons, and I'm working this morning.

Weight:     305.8 lbs
Body Fat: 43%
Water:      43.7%

Gonna be brief because I'm trying to get out the door in short order this morning.  I will first mention that there is now half a rotisserie chicken remaining in my fridge, with nearly all of the "skin".  Not eating it is one of those fat-reducing things like blotting your pizza, and it's not something I have much trouble with, because it's kind of gross, in my opinion.

I had Nutrisystem Nutricinnamon Squares Cereal for breakfast.

For sides, I had an 8 oz glass of milk (dairy), a slice of raisin bread toast (carbohydrate), and a small apple (fruit).   My standard quickie breakfast.

I packed a Nutrysistem Turkey Hot Dog and a piece of bread for lunch, as well as an afternoon snack and a juice box for my morning snack.  I may throw the drumstick from that chicken into my bag to go with the morning snack, since that's the only portable protein I have around.  I either need to boil some eggs tomorrow or remember to stop and buy yogurt for morning snacks.


That's all I've got this morning, enjoy the anthem while I get ready for work.





Word to the mothafucka, Fatheads.

Moderation

So today was the last day of a week-long class in which I and some coworkers learned some of the basic mechanic skills used to build a plane, that we might better do our jobs as engineers.  Every day this week, most of my coworkers have gone to lunch, and I stayed at the training facility and consumed my healthy meals with the other trainees.  Today, I decided to branch out.

I had a "Turkey Cobb Salad".  "Cobb", at this BBQ restaurant, apparently translates to: a whole boiled egg, 2 slices of bacon, a half an avocado, and about 2 oz of turkey.  Really, when I break it down, the only terrible part of it all, portion-wise, is the fat in the avocado.  Avocado is supposed to be "good fat", however... so I deem this to be an acceptable, if borderline unacceptable, lunch.

It's probably excessive, but to give some perspective:  in the past, I've ordered an entire rack of ribs with the attendant two sides of mashed or fried potatoes and mac & cheese.  I will call this an improvement (there were no less-threatening salad options, is another statement I should make).  Ideally, maybe I should have eaten half the salad, or ordered it without the bacon and avocado, or sat alone and eaten my diet food.  Ideally.

So at any rate, I had a number of evening errands to run after work, the last of which was a trip to the supermarket for minor things.  I'm still good for veggies, but I was running low on paper products (which I do NOT buy at the hippie store, frigging sandpaper for your ass) and some soda (also something the hippies don't stock, I wonder why?).  I had been considering stopping at the deli on the way home for a Caesar salad, but decided that, if they had rotisserie chickens at this supermarket, I would be allowed to buy one, along with whatever salad they had sans meat.

They did. I did.  I'm eating now.  I've decided that the MOST I can eat is half the chicken, although I've eaten the breast and the wing, and I'm only just nibbling the drumstick now.  I will take a break and demolish the other half of this salad, then reconvene to determine if the rest of said chicken half shall be consumed.  (EDIT: before publishing this post, I finished the drumstick and thigh.  I feel quite full, and the other half of the chicken is in the fridge, possibly to go in my lunch tomorrow.)

I would also like to note that I stuck precisely to my list... Although I just realized I forgot to fucking buy handsoap.  I've got a dispenser in each bathroom, but I'm washing my hands with Dawn in the kitchen. Goddamnit, guess I'll have to get some the next time I make a vegetable run.

I may sit out and have a cigar, or I'll just switch straight to the couch, where the video games happen.  I'm thinking some CoD: Black Ops to start with, leading into some Halo: Reach.  Possibly some Rock Band 3 in there, I don't know.  I have to get up for work tomorrow, though I can go in later than usual, so I can't game until 4am as I have in the past.



G'night, Fatheads.

Back On The Horse

Morning, Fatheads!

I didn't post yesterday because I was in a huge rush in the morning and I just kind of spaced in the evening, so here's the farm report.  I grabbed one of my Nutrisystem breakfast bars and a juice box for breakfast, then ate a yogurt, a juice box and a Nutrisystem Red Beans and Rice meal while I was at work.  After work, I had to go to an appointment, after which I went to Whole Foods (not my normal supermarket, but there's one near where my appointment was) and picked up various vegetables for the week, along with dinner, which was an over-large bowl of clam chowder and some chips and guacamole.  Inauspicious beginnings to this week, indeed.

Weight: 314.4
Scale fail on other numbers.

I also haven't gotten some good reading time in on the john in several days, which is starting to aggravate me.  Add that to the list of reasons I shouldn't go off-script.  At any rate, it's breakfast time.

The basis of today's breakfast was Nutrisystem Low-Fat Granola.

The STAR of today's breakfast was a scrambled egg (protein) with half a jalaepeno (extra food, I know) diced into it.  I also had a slice of cinnamon raisin bread (carbohydrate), a blood orange (fruit) and the necessary 4oz of milk for the granola.

Jalapeno egg was a good decision, and thank god for that, because I've got 2.5 more of the things in a container in the fridge.  On that note, I definitely went overboard at the supermarket last night.  I bought about twice as many vegetables as I did last week, which I haven't actually finished.  I guess this will force me to be better about sticking to the diet?  After discarding my cauliflower (which isn't worth the hassle of returning), I sliced up the cucumbers, 2 celery hearts, and various bell peppers I bought, and stowed them along with the baby carrots and jalapenos for easy access.

In the work food I've prepared for today, I have cucumber (unlimited vegetable), a yogurt (protein? dairy? it's one of those, and mine are all small), a juice box (fruit), and a Nutrisystem Turkey Hot Dog and a slice of wheat bread.  That should cover all eventualities... except for an afternoon snack.  I'll throw some Nutrisystem Zesty Herb Mix or something in there.



Enjoy your daily dose of hippie music, Fatheads, it's time for work.

Bonus Evening Post

Since you've all been such good little boys and girls, and I've had a long night and last night's House isn't all that exciting, you get a bonus post!  So I took carrots, cauliflower, some olives, an apple, and A Nutrisystem BBQ Sauce over Beef, Beans and Rice.  When I first got to work, I ate one of my South Beach snack bars.

I only ate the entree, the bread, a Nutrisystem Peanut Cookie, and the apple.  I just didn't feel hungry all shift, or, rather, I didn't find any of the food interesting.  Unfortunately, I had to go fucking grocery shopping at WalMart after work (where else is open at midnight?)

The whole trip was an exercise in self control.  You walk in the door, and there's a goddamned sandwich stand (right after the "please buy these discount day-old baked goods" section).  I like sandwiches, I am what you might call a "sandwich person".  I almost talked myself into "just a six inch sub" but then I moved on to vegetables.  Picked up baby carrots, apples, green beans, and some grapes.  From there, I once again had to walk past delicious baked goods.  Seriously, fuck you, WalMart.

On to the bread aisle, where I picked up a loaf of whole grain, and a loaf of cinnamon raisin, because I live dangerously.  In the same aisle, I grabbed some tea, and looked for honey, because I need some for my tea, and it made sense to me that it would be there.  I did not find the tea, so I continued to the soda aisle, past more fucking baked goods, to grab a couple of 12 packs.  Who the fuck decided that delicious nuts and chips and things need to be in that aisle?

After this, I moved on, past baked goods, past other snacky items, to the checkout, where I allowed myself a tube of peanuts... which I then put back.  I checked out and got the hell out of there, victorious.

So I got home, and had this feast.  2 pieces of burn cinnamon raisin toast, a PB&J sandwich, and some grapes.  Jesus Christ, how wrong has my life gone that THAT is a fantastically decadent post-work late-night meal?

Well, I'll take this opportunity to discuss something that a very few of you might wonder about, and others already probably know because they work in similar circumstances.  At work, cameras are highly verboten.  If you're across the street from the property, and the security force (which operates 3-4 shifts and is ALWAYS fully-staffed) catches you, they will confiscate your camera and film and possibly detain you for the police, even if you're an employee.  If you have a work camera permit, and you take a picture in a part of the plant your permit doesn't cover, roughly the same principles go into affect.  Camera permits only allow you to use company equipment, and only for company business.

The point of all this is that there will not be any pictures of food from work.  I keep meaning to take them before I go to work of my little adorable tupperwares, but I keep forgetting.  When I'm back on first shift, dinner pictures may resume, and I'm going to try and get back in the habit of taking breakfast or lunch pictures, when I actually eat those meals.

Well, I'll probably be up until 3 or 4am, so I'm going to get to watching my Hulu queue, and hope I can wake up at a half-decent hour today.

G'morning, Fatheads.